Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
