I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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