She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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