jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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