Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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