puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
