When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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