wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
jump out the window naked night went bad
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