You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
