Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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