turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
