But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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