Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Farmville is her only friend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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