what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
