Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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