This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
