We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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