The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
