Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
