so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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