Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
