You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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