We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize