He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
