i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
