I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize