pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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