She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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