Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
