My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Boobs speak an international language.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
