I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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