Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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