girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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