Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
