My first STD was from a foam party
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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