So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
