I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
