I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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