remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
