what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
