hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My life is pants optional.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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