I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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