so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
