Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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