so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
