Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
