He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She told me I should be a condom model.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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