hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
