Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
