don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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