If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
