She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
please don't ironically join a cult
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