you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and she was petting her beer can
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
