You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
