HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
