even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
