The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
