Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
